My name is Jacques Rogge. I just woke up from a long and bad nightmare. I just spent 7 years being totally delusional.
Wishful thinking ruled
We had an idea that awarding the games to Beijing would make a difference in the lives of one of the wonderful people of China. Of course we also thought that we could make a boatload of money by attracting sponsors to one of the biggest markets on Earth. After all, that’s how Mr. Samaranch taught us.
Of course our contract with the Chinese government about the terms of our cooperation was top secret. In deed it was so secret that I don’t even have a copy of it.
We knew that a lot of construction would take place and that people would need to be relocated. But we were told that this would be for the better of the people. Really: How could we not trust the Chinese governments’ good intensions?
We knew that the air quality in Beijing was a notorious problem. Yes we provided a great playground for climate scientists by conducting the largest experiment ever on human air quality manipulation. I am sure some scientists would have paid an arm and a leg for studying that closely and we missed the opportunity to capitalize on that. Sorry IOC members: We could have made a few extra bucks here. I will fly home business class to compensate for part of that damage.
I came to realize that we will have some trouble of getting the people of China to celebrate with the rest of the world. Not because they don’t want to – But simply because the government doesn’t allow for this sort of interaction. I am thinking of the great stories of Hospitality we had in Korea around the 2002 World Cup. It was so genuine how happy the Koreans were to host. Or think of all the fun in Sydney and Athens. The Germans didn’t do too bad in 2006 with their World Cup either. Even though they are still some scary uptight neighbors of ours.
We missed a big chance here and robbed you of a big party. People of China: I am truly sorry for that. I really screwed up big time.
I noticed that the government just asked the women to cover their fat ankles with dark socks and recommended for all men to shave. They provided a style guide that should really help. I am sure some of our sponsors are willing to help out with that. This will also mean more money for the IOC in the long run which is always a good thing. We always need a lot of money. I just don’t exactly know why.
I am just sensing that most people from all around the world are quite removed form the games. It is true: These games seem to be too far away from the people. But you must still watch a lot of TV because otherwise our advertisers will…you know the money thing.
Yes we like to control our gig. But the Chinese have totally outperformed us here, This was not part of our secret contract that I don’t remember anyway. We were supposed to be the control freaks – not them.
Well, I woke up from my dream
I feel pretty disgusted with how many people (and organizations) are willing to look the other way. Are you all blind? Don’t you see it? Many of our core values are threatened here – more than with any fight against “terrorists”.
My life right now sucks
I hate these fake message that Google puts up in China and tells me a site is “down for maintenance” – when I exactly know that my favorite porn sites are never down.
So what’s next?
I think the IOC has lost the remainder of its credibility. There wasn’t too much left, but still. This will bite us in the future. We should close shop and start over again from scratch. Maybe do an IPO next year?
I was totally naive.
But now I am awake. I am ready to take action: I get it. This is all totally wrong. We are at fault. I ruined one of the biggest events of the world.
Therefore I’ll cancel the Olympic Summer Games of 2008. We are sorry to the athletes. You can go home now. This will actually save us a lot of money: You know these doping tests are kind of expensive.
I know this is kind of a last minute thing but I am sure you’ll all understand.