Letter from the random CEO

Ooops, we really didn’t see that one coming.

Well, kind of:
This is just a little note to let you know that all our board members are fine. They sold enough stock before our entire little shack vanished.

As for our 50,000 employees:
We are glad to announce that the weekend is coming. That gives you TWO full days to figure things out!

You mean you are one of the little guys that owned some of our stock and didn’t jump ship in time? We’ll that just stupid. You’re a moron. I wish I could tell you different.

BTW: Does anyone know a good HR person?
I’d be looking for a part time job since I want to work on my golf handicap a little bit. Therefore I’d settle for something in the 15 million $ range + plus benefits and options. Deal?

Fellow “vacationers”:
I know a couple of awesome golf courses and I’d also be up to a trip to Vegas or Hawaii pretty much any time. Heliskiing is ok, too. Twitter me: @LastOnePleaseTurnOffTheLight

I didn’t find this letter from Washinton Mutual in my mailbox today but I wouldn’t have been surprised about it.

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