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Letter from the random CEO

Ooops, we really didn’t see that one coming.

Well, kind of:
This is just a little note to let you know that all our board members are fine. They sold enough stock before our entire little shack vanished.

As for our 50,000 employees:
We are glad to announce that the weekend is coming. That gives you TWO full days to figure things out!

Shareholders:
You mean you are one of the little guys that owned some of our stock and didn’t jump ship in time? We’ll that just stupid. You’re a moron. I wish I could tell you different.

BTW: Does anyone know a good HR person?
I’d be looking for a part time job since I want to work on my golf handicap a little bit. Therefore I’d settle for something in the 15 million $ range + plus benefits and options. Deal?

Fellow “vacationers”:
I know a couple of awesome golf courses and I’d also be up to a trip to Vegas or Hawaii pretty much any time. Heliskiing is ok, too. Twitter me: @LastOnePleaseTurnOffTheLight

PS:
I didn’t find this letter from Washinton Mutual in my mailbox today but I wouldn’t have been surprised about it.

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