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Who are they endorsing and why?

November 3rd, 2008 | by Klaus Holzapfel |

I made a shortlist of some international leaders that won’t be allowed to vote. But I have their endorsements for you;-)

Nicolas Sarkozy – President, France
McCain – Sarkozy would be terrified to bring his wife Carla Bruni to the states when the President looks way better and is way more charming than him. That won’t be a problem with McCain.

Wladimir Putin – Russian Czar or whatever his current title is
Obama – McCain is no match for Mr. Superfit.  He likes to wrestle his opponents down and drag them into all other kinds of physical exercises. Can’t do that with a 72 year old that might die of a heart attack. He’ll expose Obama’s smoking habit.

Silvio Berlusconi – Prime Minister, Italy
McCain – Obama has plans to actually do something about education. Berlusconi has plans too: Stick all immigrant kids into special ed and cut 8bln Euro of the education budget. Obama would give him an earful and he won’t have that. He can also show off next to McCain as the better looking guy in retirement age.

Stephen Harper – Prime Minister, Canada
Obama – He is afraid that McCain will actually find some oil with all the drilling planned and it would kill their oil sand business in Alberta. Plus Sarah Palin can “see” Canada and might know too much about them.

Angela Merkel – Chancellor, Germany
McCain – Obama drew a 200k crowd in Berlin within 4 days of announcing his visit. She is still in therapy because of that.

Osama Bin Laden – Mountain Lion
McCain –McCain stated to stay in Iraq for 100 years if necessary. Bin Laden will never be out a job.

Asif Ali Zardari – President, Pakistan
McCain – Apparently he has a crush on Sarah Palin and already offered her dual citizenship. He will also follow Bin Laden’s endorsement.

Gordon Brown – Prime Minister, Great Britain
Obama – Finally someone that is as charismatic as he is. No more poodle meeting W. It is going to be “showtime”!

Lula – President, Brazil
McCain – His pronunciation resembles the soft Portuguese language. He sounds like a “homie” to them. Plus Obama might outperform everyone at the Brazilian Carnival and that could leave Brazil deeply depressed. McCain won’t be dancing with the stars.

Felipe Calderón – President, Mexico
Obama – He will give Green Cards to their legions of high net-worth individuals with University degrees.

Hu Jintao – President, Peoples Republic of China
McCain – Finally someone that is nearly as old as their leaders.

SPECIAL ADD ON

Saturday Night Live
McCain – It will guarantee them 90% ratings over the next 4 years. Otherwise they’ll be back to selling tapes from their old shows.

SUMMING THINGS UP
You thought the entire world would root for Obama on Tuesday but apparently things are much more divided than many of us have thought.

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