I made a shortlist of some international leaders that wonâ€™t be allowed to vote. But I have their endorsements for you;-)
â€“ President, France
McCain â€“ Sarkozy would be terrified to bring his wife to the states when the President looks way better and is way more charming than him. That wonâ€™t be a problem with McCain.
Wladimir Putin â€“ Russian Czar or whatever his current title is
Obama â€“ McCain is no match for Mr. Superfit.Â He likes to wrestle his opponents down and drag them into all other kinds of physical exercises. Canâ€™t do that with a 72 year old that might die of a heart attack. Heâ€™ll expose Obamaâ€™s smoking habit.
â€“ Prime Minister, Italy
McCain â€“ Obama has plans to actually do something about education. Berlusconi has plans too: Stick all immigrant kids into special ed and cut 8bln Euro of the education budget. Obama would give him an earful and he wonâ€™t have that. He can also show off next to McCain as the better looking guy in retirement age.
Stephen Harper â€“ Prime Minister, Canada
Obama â€“ He is afraid that McCain will actually find some oil with all the drilling planned and it would kill their oil sand business in Alberta. Plus Sarah Palin can â€œseeâ€ Canada and might know too much about them.
Angela Merkel â€“ Chancellor, Germany
McCain â€“ Obama drew a 200k crowd in Berlin within 4 days of announcing his visit. She is still in therapy because of that.
Osama Bin Laden â€“ Mountain Lion
McCain â€“McCain stated to stay in Iraq for 100 years if necessary. Bin Laden will never be out a job.
â€“ President, Pakistan
McCain â€“ Apparently he has a crush on Sarah Palin and already offered her dual citizenship. He will also follow Bin Ladenâ€™s endorsement.
Gordon Brown â€“ Prime Minister, Great Britain
Obama â€“ Finally someone that is as charismatic as he is. No more poodle meeting W. It is going to be â€œshowtime”!
Lula â€“ President, Brazil
McCain â€“ His pronunciation resembles the soft Portuguese language. He sounds like a â€œhomieâ€ to them. Plus Obama might outperform everyone at the Brazilian Carnival and that could leave Brazil deeply depressed. McCain wonâ€™t be dancing with the stars.
Felipe CalderÃ³n â€“ President, Mexico
Obama â€“ He will give Green Cards to their legions of high net-worth individuals with University degrees.
McCain â€“ Finally someone that is nearly as old as their leaders.
SPECIAL ADD ON
Saturday Night Live
McCain â€“ It will guarantee them 90% ratings over the next 4 years. Otherwise they’ll be back to selling tapes from their old shows.
SUMMING THINGS UP
You thought the entire world would root for Obama on Tuesday but apparently things are much more divided than many of us have thought.